


Itsuka

by tenleaf (girsattic)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Eventual Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girsattic/pseuds/tenleaf
Summary: After fighting in the war, Yamato buried his first love deep into his heart and started a new life far from the place he used to live in. Now that he's been in a new town for two years, he meets Kakashi, a mysterious stranger that makes him remember how it is to fall in love, but Kakashi has other feelings he needs to sort out first.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Itsuka

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone, this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction ever, I just hope it isnt too bad or my english too dreadful.
> 
> this work is named after Itsuka, a song by the japanese band Saucy dog. the story is divided in five parts named after songs I felt like they had something to add to the part each one is in, but if youre not interested please feel free to ignore them as theyre only recommendations.
> 
> I tried to be vague while writing this in case you wanted to imagine things happening in your usual konoha, but I had in mind some edwardian settings, if you want to read it that way too.
> 
> anyway, here we go

1\. First sight - UVERworld

The chrysanthemums looked beautiful today. All flowers looked mesmerizing but this kind was especially bright, Yamato loved them, they had that special meaning of friendship he appreciated so much since he came to this town and found a place to belong and people who offered him nothing but care and warmth. It was a small war-torn town, sure, but it was filled with good people striving to take back their home place and make it just as pleasant and secure as it was before all this mess happened. 

After four years of war when one didn't know how to tell apart the sky from the ground, after so many blood shed and so many places burnt to ashes, Konoha finally started to look like its former self. Luckily, they were closer to the border and farther from the battlefield in the heart of their country, but at the end of the war there really wasn’t a place untouched by death and destruction.

_____________________________________

It was a couple months after the fire ceased and peace was signed when Yamato arrived, leaving behind the conflict that left him alone and having nothing besides a few belongings. He was a gardener before, and worked in one of those big country houses with beautiful green areas, trees and flowers and an even more beautiful heir to have it all when the time came. But after years of fighting and surviving in the frontline, after seeing with his own eyes the debris that were once the house he used to work and live in, with his inhabitants nowhere to be seen and no place to call home, he started the journey that took him all the way to Konoha.

His new life has been good, he took this new beginning head on and settled down in a place he’d come to appreciate with people he cherished, he’s in charge of the Yamanaka flower shop and spends a lot of time between the plants he has loved so much since his childhood. 

Yamato rarely thinks of the past, the war and the life he led before was a closed chapter he never visited besides some nightmares and those times when he was alone and nostalgic, thinking about that heir he came to love in silence and from afar, between small glances and touches of the hand that made him know his love was requited, but also reminded him that becoming closer was impossible with such a person, someone with a future practically written by his parents, a future where he held no place. 

All’s in the past now, he knows how his beloved is, he learned about it in the middle of his journey when he came across a list of casualties at some forgotten battlefield and found a familiar name. 

___________________________________

-”Yamato!” a small Ino Yamanaka interrupted his thoughts about flowers and friendships and small recovering towns.

-”what is it Ino? are you ready for school?”

-”yes! let’s go, captain!” the 6 year old girl said enthusiastically.

-”I’m not a captain,” Yamato chuckled, “I’m a florist, look at my apron.”

-”florist captain, then. You know what, I’m gonna be a florist captain one day too.”

And so, they made their way to the academy chattering between laughs. He loved Ino like a small sister, she lost her father in the war and her mother fell sick and passed away one year ago, Yamato acted as her support since he started working in the flower shop and now he became a dear brother and the only family she had left.

-”be a good girl today,” he said “and say hi to Sakura for me.”

-”will do! see you later, Yamato!”

He waved his goodbyes and saw her enter the place before heading back to the shop, Yamato took his time walking, Sai probably got there already and was taking care of the business in his absence. 

Sai was a part time worker and helped Yamato to attend the clients and was in charge while he was occupied in the back of the shop or doing other errands to keep the place running. They met one day at the school's entrance when he went to pick up Naruto, Ino’s classmate that he had known since he was a baby, but adopted as a brother after he lost his parents in the war. He was only 20 years old, but as with many people his age, he had to grow up fast to catch up with the world around them.Truth is, war torn apart a great number of families in Konoha, but as a community they tried their best to help and keep their loved ones close to them.

Turns out Yamato not only took his time walking, he took a detour and ended up in the Naka river, at the outskirts of town and far from the bustling of people. He took a moment to sit near the riverbed, feeling calm and one with nature and was about to leave when a small figure in the water caught his attention: a small dog fighting against the heavy current. 

Without giving a second thought he dove in the water and didn’t stop swimming til the dog was safe and sound on the ground.

-”thanks for saving Pakkun.” a voice startled Yamato, he was so engrossed checking if the dog was okay to notice the person running in his direction.

-”Pakkun? is this your dog?”

-”Yes, we were fishing upriver when he started chasing a squirrel and slipped on a rock. He fell and the current swallowed him, I couldn’t even see where he was. Thank you so much for saving him.” the other replied, still a little out of breath after running all the way down.

Yamato didn’t register half of the things he was told. Who was this stranger? He never saw him before and Konoha wasn’t known for being a very big place, everyone knew each other and they rarely got visitors. But most importantly, how come this person had such a presence? He looked cool and distant but there he was smiling and talking to his little pug, he looked otherworldly with his white hair and dreamy, mismatched eyes but there he was offering him candy as if he was an old grandpa talking to a kid. Wait, candy?

-”hey, I asked you if you want some sweets as thanks.” the man repeated.

-”sorry. I was catching my breath,” Yamato tried to fight a blush and took the candy ”thank you.”

-”well, see you around,” said the man with calm certainty. “let 's go, Pakkun.”

And the strange person walked back the way he came from, hands in his pockets and a dog by his side.

____________________________________

When Yamato entered the shop he was still processing the encounter at the river.

-”you’re drenched. did you take a bath?” Sai asked.

-”No. I fell in the river.” Yamato replied, somewhat distracted.

-”sure…go to the backroom, captain, you’re getting the shop wet and the clients might slip and fall.”

-”did Ino tell you to call me that? anyway, don’t be so pessimistic. Help me clean this, please.” said Yamato as he dissapeared in the back.

Yamato felt his mind clearer when he came back to the shop, and pushed the thoughts of this random person to the back of his mind. Or so he wanted to say. In reality, he couldn’t stop thinking about this handsome stranger, where did he come from? Will they cross paths again? The man sure talked as if they would meet again. He didn’t even ask his name, what a shame.

-”you look distracted.” pointed out Sai while making a flower arrangement. 

-”nothing important, just something I saw on the way here.” Yamato dismissed, sitting behind the counter.

-”when you feel concerned about something it is a good idea to talk to a friend. It can help you find a solution faster or relieve the stress.”

-”hmm.” Yamato sighed. “I guess you’re right. But it really isn’t important. I met a stranger in the river-”

-”did you take a bath with a stranger?” Sai interrupted.

-”I told you I didn’t take a bath.” Yamato rolled his eyes. “I saw a dog in the river and jumped in to save it. The stranger was his owner.”

-”why are you concerned about him? did he look dangerous?” asked Sai while walking to the front window to fix the flower arrangements on display.

-”no, I’ve just never seen him before. I wonder who he is or where he came from.”

-”what does he look like? does he have white hair?”

-”yes. do you know him?”

-”no. but he´s in the bookshop across the street.”

And there he was, the stranger that was more like an apparition, someone who came and went and disappeared between the trees and the people, with hair and eyes like those of a fae, who almost looked like he could talk to animals. Yamato saw him get out of the bookstore and walk away reading, and mentally said goodbye to a ghost he thought he would never see again.

2\. Under the same sky - Miyavi

A week passed before he could catch a glimpse of the man again. Loyal to his ghost brand, the stranger walked down the street in front of the shop to who knows where at unreasonably late hours. Yamato was sitting beside his bedroom window, in the second floor of the shop where he lived with Ino when he saw the white haired figure pass by his door and look up, stand for a moment and continue walking, Pakkun keeping him company. 

-”what…?” Yamato wondered aloud before going back to sleep. He was just taking a breath after waking up from a war related nightmare.

He felt good the next day, maybe because he had a nice night after all even if his memories threatened his peace of mind at some point, maybe because he liked the weather, maybe because he saw a beautiful ghost with unkempt white hair that continued to stay in his dreams. In any case, he felt good today.

-”Sai, can you come tomorrow afternoon?” Yamato asked.

-”yes,” replied the young man “but I’ll have to take Naruto with me. Itachi and Sasuke went out of town to visit some relatives and can’t take care of him this time”

-”as long as he and Ino don’t blow up the place I’m good. Thank you, Sai.”

______________________________

It was that time of the year, the anniversary of the end of the war. Yamato used to visit the graveyard every now and then at sunset and stay watching the stars with people that, even though he didn’t meet when they were alive, shared with him a bond of having fought to protect those they loved in a conflict that took away so much from them, in a battle of interests of people without a face that never saw a drop of blood while inciting death from their offices.

He was laying on a hill around the place, looking at the night sky when he heard a voice.

-”I knew I would see you here.”

-”AH!” Yamato jumped, startled, and turned to see the intruder. Who else came to a graveyard at night? He hoped it wasn’t one of those people with wrongdoing in mind.

-”didn’t mean to scare, I thought I made myself known when I sat beside you.” replied the other.

That’s when Yamato noticed who the stranger was, appearing out of nowhere as ever, since that first encounter, since he started to invade his thoughts day in and day out: mr. Ghost in person.

-”don’t do that again, please.” was all that Yamato could manage to say.

-”I just told you I thought you noticed me,” the other man chuckled.

-”what are you doing here?” 

-”I came to visit someone.”

-”...at night?” said Yamato, incredulous.

-”yes, why so surprised? you’re here too.” replied the other man while laying by his side on the ground.

-”I suppose,” Yamato sighed and laid back on the ground too.

They stayed like that for a while, looking at the sky, counting stars. Yamato wondering if he should say something and break this small moment of peace he had with the fleeting stranger, wondering if this was real, if he was dreaming of a person he wanted to meet, a person that walked close to him but never enough to reach out, a person he didn’t even had a name for.

-”do you have a name?” Yamato finally gathered the courage to ask. He felt like the other man would disappear in the air if he opened his mouth and broke the illusion.

-”I’m Kakashi. and you?”

Yamato opened his mouth to reply when Kakashi interrupted -”wait, don’t tell me, I’m gonna guess.”

-”go ahead.” Yamato let out a small laugh, curiosity getting the best of him.

-”your name is Tenzou.” 

-”no, I’m Yamato. Nice to meet you, Kakashi.” Yamato kept laughing, he was happy to finally have a name for his so-called ghost.

-”you look like a Tenzou to me,” replied the other, pensive.

And they fell into a comfortable silence again, with small bits of conversation every now and then. Kakashi was, indeed, a visitor who came to Konoha to reunite with two friends for the anniversary of the end of the war. Obito and Rin fought beside him in the battlefront, and both died in one of the cruellest confrontations the war had to offer while saving Kakashi’s life. As he was a traveler who stayed here and there throughout the country, he always came to Konoha on anniversaries to talk to his friends.

-”so you’ve been here before… how come I’ve never seen you?” said Yamato, thinking out loud.

-”I’m only seen if I want to be seen, kind of like a ninja.”

-”I would have liked to see you last year too.” replied Yamato before he could stop the words from leaving his mouth.

The other man stood paralized for a second that felt like hours, Yamato thought he and his big mouth messed up everything ‘how do you talk like that to a stranger? He’s probably thinking something weird now’.

Kakashi laughed, -”that would have been good.” 

-”how long are you staying here?” Yamato relaxed and kept the conversation.

-”if I’m honest, I’ve been here for more time than planned. Even if the anniversary date is today, I've already stayed in konoha for more than a week.”

-”do you ever feel like settling down at one place?”

-”there’s somewhere I want to stay, but I don’t know if I’ll have the chance to do it.”

-”then I hope you get the chance to stay where you want to be, one day.” said Yamato, feeling sad knowing Kakashi won’t be there for much longer, but happy to know he has the opportunity to not wander forever and find a place to belong.

-”thanks, I feel like I’m one step closer now.” Kakashi smiled.

The night went on, they talked some more, meditated some more, Yamato marveled at the revelation that was Kakashi. Someone so laid back and profound at the same time, a sweet smile with a hint of sadness he could understand so well, because it’s the sadness that comes with those that kept on living. He didn’t want this moment to end and suddenly felt like he knew Kakashi for all his life, he felt like the moment Kakashi steps out of Konoha he will take away a piece of Yamato that would never come back, even if they met the next year, and the next one, in that same place.

It suddenly hit him -”what did you mean you knew I would be here?” Yamato asked.

Kakashi opened his eyes -”I didn’t say that.”

-”yes, you did.” Yamato rolled his eyes.

-”I say a lot of things, I forgot.”

-”you’re incredible.” Yamato said, done with Kakashi’s antics.

-”still, I won’t forget tonight. Thanks, Tenzou.” he smiled while sitting up “I’m leaving now, I don't want Pakkun to stay alone any longer, he’s still a little affected by the accident.” 

He took Yamato’s hand and squeezed it a little before running away, leaving the other man behind with a mind full of static, still processing what just happened and his sight lost in the sky. Kakashi might as well have vanished in the air again, Yamato’s mind didn’t register anything.

Yamato came back home lost in his thoughts, he couldn’t believe one day he was thinking about a handsome man he met by accident and the next one he was blushing because of the fascinating person behind that face. Kakashi truly was one of a kind. 

_________________________________

It was almost midnight, the house was quiet and a little messy, some toys on the floor, Ino and Naruto sleeping in a tangle of bed sheets on the sofa, Sai finishing one drawing of the two kids while sitting in front of them. 

-”looks like you had a good time” Sai looked at a still flustered Yamato and chuckled, he then looked at Ino and Naruto, “they wanted to welcome you back.”

-”I’m home, everyone.” Yamato was out of his mind, he wanted to sleep and think about everything tomorrow. He didn’t notice back then, but he was tired, he worked most of the day after all.

Sai smiled -”welcome home, I’ll take care of things here, you can go to bed.”

That night Yamato dreamed of his long lost love again, he saw him standing there, in the back of the house and near the gardens, looking at the roses and the trees, thinking about who knows what. While Yamato stared at the scene from a distance, thinking if he should approach him, if his company would be welcome. He looked just like you could imagine his type, well dressed, perfect black hair, one beauty mark on the left side below his mouth. They were so young back then, the heir kept in a crystal case since birth and the gardener who grew up in an orphanage, two nineteen year old boys with so many differences between them and the same silent love for each other. They didn’t talk, just like they rarely talked in real life, and stared at each other's eyes for another moment before vanishing and giving place to a deep, quiet sleep.

Yamato woke up the next day and thought for a moment about his love life so far: an old romance that never came to be, a war that didn’t let him live, let alone love; a new life that gave him happiness, but never one love like those depicted in poems. It had been a while since he thought about his young and distant lover, he treasured his memory in his heart as one would always keep the first love, but it was still in the past. It was part of another life he no longer lived. He thought about Kakashi, about how much he could spark in him with just a couple encounters and one touch of the hand. He wondered if Kakashi lived the same as him, with the impossibility of love because of a conflict that was beyond them, if he had had the chance to find it and that’s the place he longs to be now, if he felt the same electricity when he held his hand and said goodbye.

There was so much when it came to Kakashi, and still he didn’t even know where to find him or if he would see him again before he parted.

3\. Stuck on you - New politics

-”I’m picking up the kids today, you look so distracted you might end up lost walking on your own” Sai returned from the backroom with a bunch of white lilies in hand to put on display at one of the shelves.

-”I won’t take that offer only because you’re mocking me” Yamato chuckled “why did you take so many lilies, I barely see you behind them. Here, let me help you.”

-“I just like them, didn’t want to let them stay alone hidden from everyone.” Sai replied, taking one to his black hair. “do I look good?”

-“yes, you do. I’m discounting that from your pay” Yamato joked and he and Sai kept chatting, attending clients as the time to pick up Ino and Naruto slowly approached. They were talking about lunch when a voice surprised them, no one noticed the person that just entered the shop and sat on a stool beside them.

-”so, you’re a good cook... can I stay for lunch too?”

Yamato and Sai turned to look at the white haired stranger, face full of surprise because he went past their radars.

Just that morning he was wondering if he would see Kakashi again before he left and now the man was sitting there in his own shop, asking for lunch. Yamato’s mind went wild thinking about last night and asked himself if this was what people meant when they talked about feeling butterflies in one’s stomach. 

-”yes… if you want to…” Yamato blabbered.

Sai almost laughed, seeing his boss act so flustered -”Looks like I’ll be picking up the kids after all, see you later captain, bye… slippery” and he left the shop to give Yamato some privacy.

Kakashi waved his goodbyes and turned to Yamato-”are you always so inviting with everyone?” 

-”well, if you don’t want to stay you know where the door is” Yamato replied, thinking how friendly bickering came so easy when talking to the other man.

-”I’d rather not move. I feel comfortable and the sight is beautiful from here” 

Yamato felt his cheeks redden by the second. -”Are you always so inviting with everyone?”

They both laughed and kept chatting for a while, Kakashi told Yamato it would rain later that day and the other didn’t believe him. He didn’t stay for lunch, but asked Yamato if he could come back to visit him on another occasion.

By the time Sai came back with Ino and Naruto, Yamato was alone and making some final arrangements for their lunch.

_________________________________

-”you look happier today.” a sleepy Ino said from her bed.

-”I had a good day today. You look happy too” replied Yamato.

-”I gave Sakura one flower today and she put it in her hair” Ino giggled.

-”I’m glad she likes flowers as much as you do” Yamato smiled “her birthday is next week, right? let’s give her a nice bouquet”

-”yes!!” Ino jumped from his place, excited “I’m gonna make it myself!”

-”good, but it’s time to sleep now. goodnight Ino” said Yamato as he tucked Ino into her bed again.

-”goodnight captain, I love you”

-”I’m a florist” he laughed “I love you too Ino” he said before leaving the room.

Yamato was checking the windows before going to sleep. Kakashi was right, it would rain later that day, though it felt more like a storm.

*thump*

*thump*

He heard a noise coming from his bedroom, did a bird fly into the window? He looked through the glass.  
There, in the middle of the storm, drenched and throwing pebbles to his window, was Kakashi. He smiled and waved his hand.

-”hi, Tenzou, can you help me? I’m cold.”

Yamato ran to the first floor and opened the shop’s door -”are you okay?” he asked, a little worried.

-”yes, thank you. I told you it would rain today.” the other man chuckled.

-”And still, you decided to be outside without an umbrella” Yamato questioned his actions.

-”It’s okay, I love rain and it brought me to you” Kakashi smiled.

Yamato took Kakashi to his apartment on the second floor and offered him some dry clothes to replace his wet ones.

-”I’ll be waiting in the living room, hang your clothing in the bathroom” Yamato said as he left to give Kakashi some privacy.

He sat on the sofa as he took in what has happened so far. Kakashi was as mesmerizing as he was unpredictable; gracefully appearing and disappearing like a ghost or just asking for some cover from the rain like a lost kid. Yamato couldn’t help but feel pushed in by this person.

-”you have a very warm place,” Kakashi said as he sat by his side “can I stay a little longer?”

Yamato caught his breath, suddenly wanting Kakashi to stay forever.   
He looked at the other man and took in his features now that he could see his face clearly. Everytime he encountered Kakashi, the man always wore a scarf that covered part of his chin and mouth.

-”sure, just tell me something in return”

Kakashi nodded.

-”why do you always wear a scarf? I thought you were hiding something but you’re showing me your face now.” Yamato asked.

-”It’s a memento, I carry it around so I don’t forget where I came from.”

Yamato wasn’t sure he understood but nevertheless, he wouldn’t question something so personal.

-”I wanted to visit you, that’s why I ended up in the rain” Kakashi said absentmindedly.

Yamato felt his cheeks burn a little, -“a late night encounter? do I need to get a hint from this?”

Kakashi only smiled.

There was something about Kakashi that always made Yamato feel at peace, he felt like they could stay in silence, enjoying each other’s company till dawn, and feel incredibly happy about it. 

-”what if I want to visit you?” Yamato asked.

-”I could give you my address, but i’m rarely there.”

-”then, where do I go if I want to see you?” Yamato asked.

-”The river, or the graveyard at night. I’m here to visit my friends and I spend a lot of time with them.” Kakashi replied, thoughtfully, “but if you really want to know, I’ll come to you whenever you want to see me.”

Yamato laughed, his cheeks impossibly red “how will you know that?”

-”well, so far I’ve come to you, right?”

They stayed side by side til midnight, when Yamato felt like falling asleep on the spot.

-”I’ll take you to your room,” said Kakashi.

-”No,” replied Yamato, half asleep. I need to see you when you leave.

-”You can do that later, I’ll wait for you” and Kakashi took him to the bedroom. Tucked Yamato in his bed and sat on a chair he brought to the room.

Yamato didn’t notice before because it was always covered, but Kakashi has a cute beauty mark on the left side of his face, below his mouth. -”I’ve always loved that little mole there” Yamato smiled, already lost in another reality because of his sleepiness.

Kakashi looked paralyzed for a moment, but Yamato didn’t notice.

It was around 4 am when Yamato opened his eyes to find Kakashi in his room, reading one of the books he kept by his bed. He looked as peaceful as he looked sad, it suddenly hit Yamato just how much war has probably taken from him, as it did with Yamato. What kind of life did Kakashi live before? Why didn’t he want to forget where he came from? Did he leave everything behind when he became a traveler? Does he have the chance to come back if he wanted to do so?  
  
Kakashi turned around to greet him -”good morning.”

-”You really stayed,” Yamato said without thinking and felt his cheeks burn red again.

-”I told you I’d stay, but I need to leave now, it’s almost time to wake up.”

Yamato sat on the bed and took his hand -“stay just a little longer, please?”

Kakashi looked a little flustered and Yamato felt comforted by the fact he was not the only one blushing.

-”just a little longer.” Kakashi squeezed his hand.

They both sat silently against the wall and against each other, hands intertwined, while Yamato came to terms with the fact that he was in love with the man beside him. He was in love with his eyes that always looked so dreamy, he was in love with the way his white hair exploded in all directions, he was in love with the way he kept coming back to him, he was in love with his random comments, he was in love with the way he called him Tenzou.

-”have you ever fallen in love?” Kakashi broke the silence.

-”I was in love, once, with a person that probably didn’t love me back” Yamato replied, thinking about an unreachable heir “and you?”

-”I love someone,” Kakashi sighed sadly and Yamato felt a pang of pain in his chest, “but he probably won’t accept me now if he sees who I have become”

Yamato felt impossibly sad at the revelation, why was Kakashi here, holding his hand like this then? Has he been thinking about someone else all this time? He felt like a joke, like a consolation for someone who couldn’t have what they wanted.

-”I’m sorry to hear that” he said as he freed his hand from Kakashi’s, “maybe you can be honest with him, I’m sure he will see through your feelings.” and he stood up

-”I’m going to check on the flowers, it’s almost morning anyway.” he left for the shop, leaving Kakashi behind.

He was in the backroom tending to some sunflowers when Kakashi appeared, he was wearing his dry clothes now.

-”I’m leaving now. Thanks for everything, Tenzou.” Yamato only waved his hand and Kakashi left silently.

As soon as he found himself alone, Yamato couldn’t fight the tears that threatened to flood the place, he accepted his love and as soon as he did it he felt his heart break in a million pieces.

4\. Old scars / future hearts - All time low

-”I’m worried about you” Yamato tried to hide it, but he’d been distracted all morning and Sai obviously noticed it.

-”It’s nothing” Yamato replied.

-”There’s a reason I always tell you it’s better to talk to a friend. I’m here for you if you need me.” Sai replied.

Yamato took a deep breath, no matter how much he sighed, the heaviness on his chest wouldn’t leave him alone -”actually. I feel like I could use a friend,” he turned to Sai, “do you think we can talk a little? I’m closing the shop for today.”

They sat around the counter, Sai waiting for the other to say something. Yamato looked around without knowing how to start.

-”I fell in love with someone” he finally said.

-”I don’t see how that alone is a reason to look so sad” Sai smiled softly.

-”He loves someone else. That’s not the problem, though. He approaches me as if he’s interested but then says he loves someone else, I feel like a handkerchief.”

Sai suddenly became serious “Is this that slippery person?” he asked.

Yamato blushed -”he is. but that’s not important anymore”

Sai looked thoughtful -”you know, Genma told me the other day a stranger went to the bar and asked for your address. It’s hard for me to think he’s not interested when he went so far as to ask for your place and come all the way here in the middle of the day. How much did you two talk?”

-”a stranger what?” Yamato needed a moment to process the information he was just given. A stranger asked for his direction, they rarely saw strangers in Konoha and he remembered Kakashi stopping for a moment in front of the shop just days before. -“why didn’t you tell me about this?”

-“It was a secret” Sai laughed sheepishly, like a kid caught after telling a lie. -“Genma didn’t want to tell me about it but Kiba overheard me when I asked him if he knew a white haired man that came to town recently and told me everything. He remembered the stranger because he had a dog with him.” he continued.

-“Genma and Kiba’s bar must be the only place in the country that accepts dogs in there” Yamato laughed -“anyway, we didn’t talk much. As soon as he mentioned he loves someone else, I got up and left.”

-”Just talk to him. I think it will help you clear up your mind. Even if he doesn’t love you, it will give you some closure.”

-“thank you, Sai” Yamato smiled “for this, and for asking about him in my stead.” He got up and turned to the door “well, I’ll try to do something about this right now, the shop is closed anyway. Talk to you later.”

-”I was just worried. See you later, captain”

And so Yamato left, not really knowing where to go but set on to get some answers from Kakashi.

_________________________________

He wandered til he got to the river, somehow he always ended up there when some peace of mind was needed. Yamato felt at home when surrounded by nature. Now, sitting there, he couldn’t help but recount what has happened so far, how Kakashi managed to find him that first day. He supposed he knew he was there because he was a soldier too and it was a special date, but everyone else visited the graveyard when the sun was still out. Kakashi said he always visited his friends, did he come across Kakashi last year and didn’t notice? Of course he would have noticed him at first sight, he was simply Kakashi, someone hard to ignore. Unless he didn’t want to be seen, as he had mentioned before.  
His heart didn’t stop hurting, but deep down there was a spark of hope ignited by Sai’s conversation. Maybe the best course of action was to look for the man and talk things out. Would Kakashi reply to his questions? He was always the mysterious, enigmatic person, he always drove the conversation where he wanted to, never gave away more than necessary.

-”It’s going to rain today, too” a voice interrupted Yamato’s thoughts. He didn’t need to look up to know who was there.

-”you’ll need an umbrella, then.” Yamato replied.

-”I told you I like rain.” Kakashi smiled.  
Yamato looked at the river -“I believe you now.” he mumbled.

-”thank you, I’m always right when it comes to the weather.”

-”No, I meant to say I believe you when you say you will always come to me when I want to see you.” Yamato turned to look at him, Kakashi was with Pakkun today “can I pet him?”

Pakkun walked towards Yamato, as if understanding what he just said, and sat on his lap.

Kakashi sat beside him -“this is my favorite place in Konoha”

-“same for me” Yamato sighed, “I like looking at the trees and the water.”

Yamato didn’t know where to start, where was the line between the things he could say and the things he couldn’t? Kakashi looked immune to any questioning, as if transcending what was real and what was not. Like the ghost he always looked like, he acted like someone who only lived in this moment, someone who didn’t care for the past that was left behind or the future that hadn't come yet.

-”why do you think the person you love won’t accept the person you are right now?” Yamato finally asked.

-”I was a total opposite person back then, like one of those young gentlemen the queen herself would have loved to meet.” Kakashi replied.

-”have you tried asking him how he felt about your current self?”

-”No. I’m afraid of his reply.” Kakashi looked at nothing in particular.

-”I don’t see how he wouldn’t love the person you are right now.” said Yamato, suddenly feeling an urge to cry.  
Kakashi opened his eyes, as if surprised by Yamato’s words -”Thank you, but I feel like it’s too much of a change to take in so easily.”

-”then, why did you change so much?” Yamato asked, not really expecting an answer.

-”war happened.” it was all Kakashi supplied.

Of course war happened. War messed up everything, war left a trail of blood that destroyed families, torn apart lovers, left people without a place to return to. War made Yamato pursue a new life far from the only city he knew, and while he got a new chance in life, maybe Kakashi hadn’t been so lucky. He thought about his past love, the difference between him and Yamato, and still, they both ended up risking their lives in the same battlefield, fighting a meaningless war for causes that never were theirs. 

-”why did you know I would be at the graveyard that night?” Yamato finally said it aloud.

-”because you were a soldier like me, I assumed you must have been one and it looks like I was right”

-”that doesn’t explain the hour.” Yamato countered.

Kakashi suddenly looked flustered. “I had a hunch.” he said, and Yamato didn’t believe a word.

-”You know, I arrived in Konoha after the war. I had nothing left in the city or my workplace.” Yamato looked at Kakashi. “And here I got the family I never had back then.”

Kakashi smiled -”I’m glad to hear that, you deserve to live a good life and be loved.”

Yamato reddened -“what I mean is, you have to take a risk to get something in return. I took a risk when I left the only place I knew and found a new home somewhere far away. You need to take a risk showing yourself in front of the person you love or you’ll never know how he feels about you.” Yamato took Kakashi’s hand. “if he loves you like I do I know he’ll understand that people can change on the outside while keeping the same heart on the inside.” He couldn’t stop the words from leaving his mouth.Loving Kakashi felt so natural, like he had done it for all his life, it was something beyond himself, and Yamato wasn’t afraid to let him know.

Kakashi looked lost for words -“you… you love me?” he muttered. Eyes wide in surprise.

Yamato looked him in the eyes. -”I came here to come clear about everything. Now you know how I feel. If you feel the same you know where to find me. If you don’t, please, don’t appear in front of me ever again. I don’t want for someone to play with my feelings, not even you.”

Yamato freed Kakashi’s hand, petted Pakkun one last time, and left.

_________________________________

Yamato walked and didn’t look back, he was done with this situation now. He was as honest as he could be and there was nothing else to do, he set his mind to never expect to see Kakashi again, he knew deep inside his love was not what the other man needed right now, and Yamato would respect that because it was the best for both of them. He wouldn’t act as a consolation for someone that wouldn’t act upon his own feelings, no matter the reasons.

That didn’t mean Yamato was feeling free now, his heart ached and he felt like it kept breaking by the second, but now he had the certainty of what to expect and what to do next. He was tired of the what-ifs, he was tired of wondering about Kakashi, the man came and went like the wind and Yamato couldn’t get a full grasp on him, never knowing if he would even see him again, the only certain thing being the love he kept for another person.

As much as he told himself someone’s past wasn’t important compared with the person they are now, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore the scars and pain that shape us to be what we currently are, and Kakashi, even though he acted like living in this second and nothing else, sure looked like a scarred person tied to his past, he knew it every time he looked at the other’s eyes and noticed that hint of sadness that never left. He was worried, but he couldn’t do anything about it. All that was left for Yamato was to encourage Kakashi to pursue love, if that meant the chance to find a place to be happy.

He got home before he could be aware of it. Sai noticed Yamato wasn’t okay but preferred to give him some space instead, telling him he would take care of Ino for the day. 

-”are you okay, Yamato?” Ino asked, eyes full of worry.

-”It will be okay,” Yamato replied “I’m concerned about something, but things will be good very soon.” and he gave her a hug.

She looked more relaxed then -”can I go to Sakura’s tonight? the girls are having a sleepover”

-”sure” he smiled, “just do your homework first, please”

-”but it’s friday!” Ino complained, but still went to pick up her school texts.

Ino ended up doing her homework with Sai, Naruto and Sasuke. The 20 year old turned out to be a really good teacher, and he usually took care of the three kids and sometimes Sakura. The shop looked like a daycare and Yamato loved to see it, the place felt warm and full of energy.

5\. Stand by me - The peggies

  
Yamato laid on his bed, looked at the ceiling for what felt like hours. The house was empty, Ino was at Sakura’s house, he felt the loneliness crushing his chest, devastating whatever was left after his heartbreak. He thought about going to the bar, maybe he could distract himself for a brief moment, escape reality through the temporary numbness alcohol had to offer. He wasn’t much of a drinker, he couldn’t even remember the last time he drank too much or felt hungover, but he went to the bar every now and then to talk to his friends.

This moment was just as good as any to drink away all the memories from the last couple of days, to forget his unrequited love, to forget mismatched eyes, white hair and hands that held to his own as if they were going to fuse. 

The place was full and busy, as one would expect on a friday night. He eyed the last available place in the bar and sat there, waving to Genma and Kiba and asking for a beer.

-”we got a sad cat over here,” Genma greeted him “take this, first one is on the house”

-”thank you,” Yamato mumbled and downed more than half of the glass in one gulp.

-”man, are you okay? I’m starting to worry, you look devastated” Genma looked concerned.

-”blame love” Yamato replied. Genma was one of his best friends and he wasn’t against letting him know about the situation. But not now, now he only wanted to forget, and so, blaming love was the only thing he could supply to the barman.

-”love, indeed.” Genma squeezed his shoulder in sympathy and went to attend to other patrons.

Yamato sat in silence. He didn’t know how much he drank but when it was his time to leave, he was barely aware of his surroundings. Genma offered to take him to his house if he waited until close time and rested in the backroom but Yamato didn’t want to impose. And so, he walked out of the bar, into the darkness and the rain.

-”he’s always right about the rain” Yamato laughed bitterly.

He walked till he got to a park and walked in a gazebo to keep him from the cold water, looking at nowhere in particular.  
No matter how much he drank, he couldn’t forget. He could forget his own self, his own instinct that screamed he shouldn’t be in the rain unless he wanted to be sick tomorrow, but he couldn’t forget Kakashi. He decided to give the man one last night, one last moment full of thoughts for the person he decided to love despite his intangibility. Yamato laughed at himself, how could he fall for a person he barely knew, a person that appeared when he wanted to and left the same way. Was Kakashi even real?

-”Let’s go home, please. I’ll help you.” a voice that was now so familiar broke the silence.

-”You’re not real” Yamato looked at him “I’m too drunk and now I’m seeing things. You’ll never come back”

-”It doesn’t matter now. Come here, I’ll guide you home.” Kakashi insisted.

He helped Yamato stand up and carried him on his back to the flower shop.

Yamato, meanwhile, drifted on and off sleep, and didn’t fully register what was happening. He was moving, but he wasn’t walking, just what was going on? He screamed in confusion and fell off the other’s back when they were in front of his house. It stopped raining by then.

-”what are you doing here? I told you to never appear in front of me again” Yamato asked, voice full of sadness.

-”I wanted you to come back home safely.” Kakashi looked at the ground.

-”It’s not your problem where I end up or not, don’t act like you care when you don’t”

-”I care, how could you say I don’t?”

-”If you cared you wouldn’t have sent me so many confusing signals, can’t you see how much it hurts me?” Yamato let it all out, the alcohol disappearing whatever feeling of restriction Yamato would have normally.

Kakashi stood there in silence -”I see it now,” he said after a silence that lasted a lifetime -”it was never my intention to hurt you, I won’t disturb you again” his eyes were full of tears that ran to his cheeks.

Yamato reached out to wipe them -”I’m sorry, it’s not your fault. It was me who fell in love alone, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, Kakashi.”

-”You deserve someone better than me” Kakashi took his hand and kissed it.

Yamato felt like a million fireworks went off right in that spot. How could Kakashi belittle himself so much when he was able to spark so many sensations in another person with just a small touch of his lips.

-”I wish you knew your true value” Yamato still clung to Kakashi’s hand. “I hope you give yourself the chance to be happy” He left to open the shop’s door -”Let me know when you’re leaving, I want to see you one last time” and closed it behind him. Kakashi stood still, in the middle of the night.

Yamato couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, and as soon as he got to his bed he let them run free until he fell asleep.

_________________________________

Yamato certainly didn’t give Kakashi many thoughts the next morning, in fact, he kept his mind blank as much as he could. His head felt like it would explode at any moment and it wasn’t till noon when he started feeling like a human being again. He went to pick up Ino and they both walked to get lunch at Ichiraku, Ino’s favorite place.

-”are things good now?” Ino questioned.

-”what?” Yamato was surprised by the sudden question.

-”You were worried yesterday.”

Yamato chuckled, a little embarrassed -”Yes, it’s good now” he smiled.

-”good! I want to see you happy again, captain”

-”me too, Ino” Yamato mused.

They spend the day together, talking about Ino’s adventures last night. Sakura fell asleep first and Tenten carried her through the room, Hinata felt homesick and they had to comfort her but, once she felt confident, she stayed up longer than the rest. Ino had two long braids on her hair, courtesy of Sakura.

-”I think you would look good with long hair” Ino wondered aloud.

Yamato laughed -”Me? I’d probably look ridiculous”

-”no, I think it would be good. The braids would suit you too” Ino smiled at him.

_________________________________

  
It would take Kakashi three more days to appear again. He entered the shop like any other client, not stealthily, not speaking out of nowhere.

-”Good morning, welcome to Yamanaka flower shop” Sai was the one to greet him with a smile.

-”Good morning,” he looked at Sai “Yamato, can I interrupt you for a second?”

-”It’s okay, Yamato. I’ll take care of things while you’re gone” Sai turned to Kakashi “It’s good to see you here”

Was that pink on Kakashi’s cheeks? Yamato wondered If he was imagining things-”I leave the shop in your hands Sai, thank you”

They walked in silence to the river, the place becoming sort of their own private spot by now. Yamato noticed Kakashi had his belongings on him, so he really was leaving today… Where was Pakkun? Kakashi wouldn’t leave him behind. They stood beside each other, both of them looking at the river, Yamato didn’t dare to look Kakashi in the eyes, he knew the moment he acknowledged the other man, it would be time to say goodbye, probably forever.

-”I want to tell you a story” Kakashi started.

-”what?” that was not what Yamato was expecting.

-”let me tell you a story before I leave. I want you to know about me, just like you’ve told me about yourself”

Yamato nodded, and waited for Kakashi to continue.

-”just like I told you before, I was once a different person. When it came to my name, physical appearance, way of thinking or mannerisms, I was a totally different person. I was someone who would be part of a society not everyone had access to, someone with a life planned out since birth. I never showed it to anyone, but I wanted to break from that bubble. Back then I fell in love, and I made up my mind to escape with that person if he ever told me to do so, no matter the consequences. Of course, I was young and naive back then, and didn’t know how harsh life was beyond the walls of our luxurious country house.”

Yamato listened, taking in every detail. So Kakashi once dreamed of chasing love without hesitation.

-”I would learn about it the hard way” Kakashi continued “when war was declared and I had to become a soldier. I was only 20 years old, I barely knew about the world and now I had to face enemy fire” he sighed. “I met Obito and Rin one year into the war, they were the bravest soldiers you could find out there, and they became my support. Their friendship gave me a reason to keep fighting when I felt like giving up, devastated by the harshness of the battlefield. But they died trying to save me and I was once again thrown in a dark pit, I felt like darkness consumed my mind more and more each day.”

Yamato felt an immeasurable sadness with the other’s words, Kakashi was a victim, he looked so vulnerable now, not trying to hide the sadness that always made its place in his eyes. He could relate so much to the man beside him. He also had to see his comrades die in front of him, he also had to struggle to survive another day in a place where no matter where you looked, death was the rule.

-”I was lost for a while,” Kakashi turned to Yamato for a second “during that time I would throw myself head on into the fight, with no instinct of self preservation, waiting for something to put an end to the pain I was feeling and a life that I never truly lived. That was until I met Kurenai, she came with the reinforcements and approached me when I was at my lowest. She told me she kept fighting for her lover that was left behind. She told me she would survive and would come back to see him, and asked me if I didn’t have someone back home.” Kakashi ran his hand through his hair and looked at the sky “by the time I met Kurenai I already had lost my parents at some battle the messenger couldn't make clear to me, and nothing tied me to the place I grew in besides titles and riches that didn’t mean anything”

Yamato wished he could do something to comfort Kakashi, he wished he could offer him a place to feel warm and happy and not alone or sad. He wanted to let him know he deserved to live now that the nightmare was over, that he could stop wandering as if he wasn’t good enough to stay in any place.

-”I had something left, though. Buried deep inside my heart, below the darkness that piled up because of the war, I still kept intact the love I once felt for that person I wanted to run away with. You know, it was childish of me to imagine he would ask me to run away together when we rarely talked, he probably didn’t love me... or he probably did.” Kakashi let out a sad chuckle “I made it my goal to survive, I was going to look for him as soon as the war ended and I would ask him to marry me.”

-”did you ever find him?” Yamato asked “here I was encouraging you to talk to that person, and I don’t even know if you know where or how he is”

-”I found him,” Kakashi replied “he was as perfect as I remembered him, with a heart full of light, you wouldn’t think he was once surrounded by the desolation of the war.”

-“I see” Yamato replied, he didn’t have the strength to say anything else, each word that left the other man’s mouth was like a needle to his own heart. He felt sad for Kakashi, he felt sad for himself, he felt sad for the ones that left this world in the middle of a battle.

-”I tried my best to survive” Kakashi continued his story “but war is ruthless and things don’t go as planned. I was badly wounded towards the end of the war and declared dead in the middle of the chaos at the military hospital. I was there, unconscious, they didn’t know if I would wake up. But officially I was dead because someone messed my name and mixed it with someone else’s. That’s when I became Kakashi.”

-”why didn’t you clear up the confusion?” Yamato was curious.

-”I guess I didn’t want to go back to my old self. By the end of the war I was barely the person I used to be. The wound left me in a coma for weeks, I almost lost an eye and it looks red now, the trauma turned my black hair white, and I felt like I was born again when I woke up. Not to mention how much I changed on the inside”

-”So when I was discharged from the hospital I wandered around, the first thing I did was to check on my old house, but it was destroyed. I visited another one of my family’s properties but it was abandoned, I got into the place and found this scarf, it was like the ones my father used to wear and the only keepsake I have from my old life. I once told you it was a memento to never forget where I came from. That’s what it is, in a certain way. I wanted to discard my past, but my old life had the person I loved in it, so I clung to that only thing and let everything else go.” he took his hands to the scarf “It may sound childish to hold onto something like a piece of fabric but I had nothing left from my life before the war.”

-”It isn’t childish, if something, I’m glad you kept your hopes after going through so much” Yamato took Kakashi’s hand, wanting to protect him from the things that already happened.

-”Thank you” Kakashi sighed and continued “after I took the scarf I left the place and never came back, it was the only time I revisited my past. I traveled to many places in the country, saw the destruction left by the war and the efforts to take back life from death. I came all the way to Konoha for last year’s anniversary, to visit Obito and Rin’s grave” Kakashi moved his hand to intertwine their fingers. “I felt like Obito and Rin were helping me even from heaven, as I found the person I was looking for at the last place I imagined he would be. He looked as good as ever, nowhere close to the carefree wanderer that I was, I felt like he would never like the person I had become, I felt like I wasn’t someone worthy of his attention. I wasn’t the elegant and well kept young man from when we first met”

Yamato felt his heartbeat go faster by the second, he was beginning to put one and one together.

-”And so I left, decided to forget that illusion of romance I had. I thought for a moment I accomplished it, but as soon as I saw you again when you saved Pakkun I accepted the fact that my love was as alive as ever, and again I felt scared to show my true self in front of you.” Kakashi looked Yamato in the eyes, “I couldn’t stand the idea of knowing where you were and not seeing you, that’s why I approached you and without knowing I kept coming back. But my old fear was there, and to top it all I wasn’t being honest, acting like I was someone new. I tried to put some distance between us when I told you I already was in love with someone, I had no idea it would cause you much pain, another stupidity from my part”

Yamato looked back at him with eyes full of tears. He couldn’t believe the person by his side was his first love, he couldn’t believe they reunited again, he couldn’t believe he also loved him back all those years ago.

-”someone told me I should be honest with my feelings, that I would regret it more if I didn’t talk about them when I had the chance. And you told me I should take a risk if I want something in return. I took your advice and here I am in front of you.” Tears started to make their way through Kakashi’s face. “do you like what you see? would you accept the messy human being I have become? Would you stay with me even if I’m not the perfect heir you once met?”

Yamato freed his hand from Kakashi’s and took them to the other man's face, wiping the tears with his thumbs. -”I thought my answer was obvious” he smiled “I fell in love with you back then, and I fell in love with you now, you’re simply you, you’re my adoration, Kakashi. You’ve always been.”

And finally, after the wait of a lifetime, they both kissed. It was sweet like the first love, salty with the tears that streamed down their faces, sad with the memories that weighed them down and took them away from each other once, hopeful with the idea of a future together, and happy with the confirmation of a requited love. 

They hugged each other and stayed like that, lost in their own bliss, happy to just exist side by side with the one they loved.

-”I feel like I’m dreaming,” Yamato mused “when you brought me here I thought you were going to say goodbye”

-”I was ready to part if you rejected me. If I’m honest, I was sure you would hate me for being a liar” Kakashi squeezed his hand “but your friends weren’t so sure about it” and chuckled. “they even offered to take care of Pakkun while I talked to you”

-”my friends?” that took Yamato by surprise “what do they have to do with this?”

-”Sai approached me two days ago, he told me he was worried about his captain, that he was sure I could do something about it. And I ended up telling him I was afraid. That I couldn’t live with your rejection” Kakashi said “he told me it would be worse to live without knowing what could have been, he even offered to help me if I didn’t know how to talk to you.” 

Yamato smiled, a warm feeling of gratefulness filling his heart -”Sai never stops surprising me, he’s probably more mature than me at his age” he laughed “I had no idea he knew where to find you.”

-”he lives close to the place I was staying in, we crossed paths a couple times” Kakashi nuzzled Yamato’s cheek “The day we talked he was waiting for me at the entrance, he looked so serious I thought he was going to punch me in the face for making you cry”

Yamato smiled, -“I’ll make sure to thank him later, I wonder how things would have been without him”

-”I wonder…” Kakashi muttered, and continued where he left “Genma helped too, he told me where you live, though begrudgingly since he didn’t know me, and kept it a secret. He and Kiba didn’t know much about the situation, but Sai told them to take care of Pakkun while I did something important and they were happy to help. You know, I think Genma guessed most of the situation by himself” 

Yamato only smiled, he was happy to have such good friends, he was happy to have Kakashi by his side. He kissed him again. -”so, are you staying in Konoha? It looks like Obito and Rin aren’t the only ones you have here now”

-”I think I’m finally where I want to be. Thanks for being my home, Tenzou.” Kakashi took his hand and looked at the other in the eyes “Would you marry me?”

Yamato felt his eyes full of tears again, an overload of happiness in his heart “Of course I would, but first you need to ask Ino for my hand.” and they both laughed. 

They started to walk back to the shop, hand in hand. Yamato was happy, they could find love even after the darkest hours. It was a love that survived separation, that survived war, that survived the pain and fear of recognizing oneself in the mirror, a love that went past the scars of the past. They were two hearts that would walk together from now on, that would get stronger day after day. It was a new start as much as it was a chance to pick up where they left in the years of their youth, two hearts destined to find each other and fall in love no matter how much time passed. Yamato was finally reunited with his long lost love, and nothing would stop him from giving Kakashi everything life had denied him for so many years.

-”If you knew my name was Yamato, why did you insist on calling me Tenzou?”

-”You’ve always been Tenzou. Since the first time I saw you and I still didn’t know your name, you were Tenzou to me” Kakashi smiled and kissed Yamato’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> if you read all the way through here all I have to say is thank you so much, I hope you liked this and I hope I didnt butcher the characters too much. im happy to read any advice you can leave and take it into consideration for future works as I have some other ideas in mind. that being said, I wish you a nice day, stan captain Yamato <3


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